Franken Funnies
by Inuyashagirl7692
Summary: A collection of honest quotes and interviews with the characters from the famous novel, Frankenstein.


**Franken – Funnies**

**A/N: Just a little something I made for fun in high school when I was required to read this book. **

* * *

"Justine is going to be hanged tomorrow for a crime she didn't commit, but she knows nothing of the deep and bitter anguish that I feel." **– Frankenstein **(106)

"I didn't want to kill them. My alter ego made me do it." **– Creature** (266)

"Elizabeth, your worrying is ruining my good mood. And that's saying a lot because I'm never happy." **- Frankenstein** (234)

"I should have been easing my family's grief over the loss of William, but I was too busy moping. Besides, it's not like their grief was anything compared to mine." **– Frankenstein to Walton**

"Henry, I'm sorry I'm such a downer. Why don't you continue on alone, and leave me to wallow in self-pity by myself. Perhaps, in the dark, on an isolated island, surrounded by human corpses?" I should probably mention that there is a giant killer after my friends and family, but I think I'll just keep that to myself. – **Frankenstein**

"They rejected me. So even though they're poor, I'm going to burn down their house and rip up their crops." – **Creature** (168)

"Frankenstein created me. So I'm going to take it out on his family and friends who had absolutely nothing to do with it." – **Creature**

* * *

**Creature** – "Okay, so I killed your brother, but listen to how pitiful I am. I'm like a giant ugly puppy. I just want to be loved… Oh, and if you don't make me an ugly wife I'll murder your entire family." (122)

**Frankenstein** – Hmmm, I didn't quite catch that last part. Oh well, I'm sure it wasn't anything important."

**Creature**- "I may have murdered his entire family, but you have no idea how hard that was on **_me_**!" (266)

**Walton**- "What the heck?"

**Creature**- "Oh, you wouldn't understand. Nobody does."

**Walton**- "Go figure."

* * *

"Felix is coming. I should try to look as docile and amiable as possible by grabbing his blind father. There's no way that could possibly be misunderstood." – **Creature** (164)

"Why don't you blame Felix? Sure he didn't know me and I was grabbing his blind father, but that's no excuse." – **Creature** (268)

* * *

**Frankenstein**- *Destroys Franken-Fran* "Ha! I've destroyed your last hope for happiness. What could you possibly do now?"

**Creature**- "I'm going to murder your friend and your fiancé."

**Frankenstein**- "I'm sorry, what? I couldn't hear you. Could you repeat that?"

**Creature**- "I said I'm going to murder your-"

**Frankenstein**- *covers ears* "La la la, I can't hear youuu!"

**Creature**- "I shall be with you on your wedding night." *Creature leaves*

**Frankenstein-** "So, he plans to kill me on my wedding night…"

**Frankenstein**- "Hey, Creature, how did you learn to speak so eloquently in only six years?

**Creature**- "How did you make me out of rotting body parts and #$%^&?"

**Frankenstein**- "Touché."

**Redo:**

**Frankenstein**- "Hey, Creature, how did you learn to speak so eloquently in only six years?

**Creature**- "I believe you accidently placed John Milton's brain in my skull.

**Frankenstein**- "That would explain a lot."

* * *

**Frankenstein**- *After reading Elizabeth's letter* "Six years isn't that long, Elizabeth." (79)

* * *

**Interview with Frankenstein**

Q: Alright, so let me get this straight. Your little brother is dead. Justine is dead. Henry Clerval is dead. Elizabeth is dead, and your father is dead. Is that about everyone?

A: Well, actually, you forgot to mention me.

Q:… *coughs* So, that's everyone then?

A: Yes.

Q: So your whole family's dead?

A: Yes. They were all murder by that accursed archfiend.

Q:Except for your father.

A: Even if that wretch didn't harm my father directly, my father's soul was broken due to his wickedness.

Q:Right. And what about Ernest?

A: Who?

Q: Ernest, your brother. He gets about a page of dialogue, and then we never hear from him again.

A: *covers ears* La la la, I can't hear youuu!

Q: O_O

**Interview with Creature**

Q: What do you think of your movie incarnation?

A: I believe him to be uncouth and barbaric, yet at the same time, a reflection of a childlike innocence that I once possessed.

Q: Boring.

A: I could easily kill you and everyone you love for insulting me.

Q: What a thought provoking and interesting reply.

A: *smiles smugly*

**Interview with Elizabeth**

A: ….

Q: ... She's a corpse. She doesn't talk much.


End file.
